posts! -pats back-

hahs finally. i think i ttly doubled my post count this year compared to last yr :/ ohwell this year got much more things to say anw :) hmm what abt nxt yr? prolly be posting abt... lots of mugging T.T hopefully i can go study w che + sher + yc more times than this year (: than ill be a happykid! x) miss them loads rahhhh hope can go meet them on mon!!! :D:D:D

and i need to erm. manage my money well. argh. SAVE SAVE SAVE! so nxt time can BUY BUY BUY O.O keep seeing lik nice stuff, clothes, gadgets that i want but obviously do not have the money to afford :/ and my ma also keeps holding on to my $ so cant buy a lot of stuff x_x i cant even keep my DVC salary!! rahhh. i will negotiate! o.o!

today went minds cafe w s63! :D not bad quite a lot o ppl went. played cluedo and life than had to leave liao :( sads. ohwell better be guai now cos ill b gg out quite a lot i think ^^ at lst still got fac outing to hang out so.. yay! :D and zx, if u read this, skating whenn? :D

anw cluedo was damn funny. playing it the unconventional way. with tricking ppl and all tt. HEHEHEE. started w sj n wj. then no one trust them liao damn funny XD and we (kenwee n i) managed to trick them back! WAHAHAHAA damn fun XD and game of life damn fei i lost x_x everyone gt above 1mill in e end n i onli got $945000 XP cos i got no education mah. rush to get a job hahas. lameeee.

kks must rmb to SAVE UP. DON'T SMS SO MUCH. BE GOOD. HAVE FUN! hols resolutions XD

oh and HAPPY HALLOWEEN. lol. erm. yah.

3 hours and 39 minutes more to the END OF MY AGONY rahhhh

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today was fine compared to last nights emoing. rlly terrible. all started cos i gave my results slip for my parents to see. -.- zzz. anw some stuff typeed on my hp frm last nights emoing. posted for myself. as a reminder. if you dun understand, GOOD. even better.

i want to but life's not giving me a chance to be who i wanna be. i have my views but you never listen anyway. everything i do against you and your believes and rules and laws and whatever is just WRONG. and every flaw in my personality is thanks to my friends. you never try to understand, you just start scolding me and telling me that whatever i do is wrong. even if i have a reason it is merely an excuse. so what for explaining. well so what if i got a D for GP? its not good enough for you but you always knew it isnt my strongest subject. so why just focus on how badly ive done? i did my best and got good enough results to even qualify for H3. is that still not enough? im stupid alright im sorry i cant live up to your standards and be perfect enough for you. with you strict rules and dominance over my views, i am simply a weakling who no longer dares to speak up. you always say im not good enough for an exco post and i dont get it cos others are better than me. that might be true but what if i did get in? i wouldnt be able to stay late for meetings and such anyway if you dont even let me stay back for huangcheng. bad comparison but yeah. whatever. you dont even try to understand and try to compromise with me for a moment. youre right, im wrong. WHATEVER. im sick of meeting you overly high expectations and demands. oh and now i have bad language issues too. im sorry but thats not my friends' faults. daont blame them. but im sorry too that i make such 'bad' friends and have 'bad' company. unlike her. clever friends who love reading and stuff! how lovely. i am weak. we are different people with differing personalities. please dont compare my life and choices with hers. my views arent important, only yours. so what for argue? i might as well just shut up and stop speaking next time our ideas differ. for fear of being too rude for you. maybe that would make you feel better? my personality just so doesnt go with the rest of my family. my friends are probably just a rowdy, unintellectual bunch who do nothing but influence me badly. well sorry i enjoy their company, thank you, and have lots of fun and probably must more life than her. and i still manage to handle my studies relatively well. why must everyone be so mark oriented anyway? i should have just gotter into a random secsch and go poly or smt or whatever then perhaps your expectations wont be so high and i would have some space to breate. but then i wont be able to meet such great people i have met. so scratch that. i do things at my own pace. dont, never, FORCE me to do something or keep reminding and bugging and nagging and breathing down my neck. like getting an A. i will get it over time just not so soon. and the more you want it and remind me, the more you WONT get it. i improved in ALL my subjects for promos but does anyone give a damn? no. cos no A is still, sadly, no A. and i suck.

all this anger has probably subsided by now :/ last night was lethargy + sickness made me very impatient and pissed off quickly. and i really felt that everything was so unfair. :(