im thinking of apoligizing. or explaining. or whatever. for being so 怪僻. but then again, why am i always the one who apologises, loses in the end. this insecurity is killing me. its always the same. i lose first. i cant keep up. :/ tt longing for the old times and this awkwardness just kills me. but sometimes things have to go 2 ways. if i do my part and nothing happens, i dunno what else there is to do. :/ ohwell. we shall see.

everytime i tell someone about ____ things just start getting weirder and weirder and then it falls out of my grasp and everything falls apart. maybe i should just shut up. but then sometimes ____ just cannot be contained. it has to be shared. ohwells.

and its not like its anything special anymore. i just want to be friends again. back to the old days.

again: don't understand? good. understand? good for you. want to understand? ask. i might tell. if im in the mood to tell. (and if you are the right person(s))

so why am i posting this? cos i shuang. this is my blog anyway. i should stop thinking too much. NEED TO GO OUT!